


This Wasn’t For You

by voguestark



Category: Dickinson (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Confrontations, Extramarital Affairs, F/F, F/M, Historical Dress, Not Canon Compliant, Poetry, Season/Series 02, emisue
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:08:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29955243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voguestark/pseuds/voguestark
Summary: "This was about Sue. It always has been and it always will be," Emily told him in a calmer tone of voice.It's Sam's turn to let out a bark of laughter, "you and Sue? That's rich."
Relationships: Austin Dickinson/Susan Gilbert Dickinson, Emily Dickinson/Susan Gilbert Dickinson, Samuel Bowles/Susan Gilbert Dickinson
Kudos: 32





	This Wasn’t For You

**Author's Note:**

> This is an alternate version of Emily’s confrontation with Sam when he tries to steal her poems. Takes place during Season 2 Episode 10 : You cannot put a Fire out

"I get it," Sam said with a look of pity.

The expression on his face made Emily Dickinson's mind whirl with anger red as blood. 

"No, Sam. You don't-," Emily starts, but Sam Bowles begins to speak over her. 

"You had a crush on me and I didn't reciprocate," Sam tells her. 

Emily can't help, but crack a smile. She begins to laugh at him. Sam's face drops when he hears Emily laughter. 

"What's so funny?" he asks. 

Emily snorts as she continues laughing at Sam. He looks at her with a strange look on his face. 

"This wasn't for you," Emily says with a wide smile, "all this was never about you." 

"But, the letter-," Sam started. It's Emily's turn to cut him off. 

"Oh, yes. The letter to your wife," Emily said amused, "I feel like my feelings for someone else got caught up in the letter. I tried to tell you that at the opera, but you don't listen." 

Emily lets out another huff of laughter at Sam's bewildered face. 

"What was this all about then? Why did you want to be published so badly?" Sam asks her and gestures wildly. 

"Are you blind? Or maybe it's your head so far up your own ass you hardly notice what's right in front of you," Emily says to him while matching his gesturing. 

"Emily."

"This was about Sue. It always has been and it always will be," Emily told him in a calmer tone of voice.

It's Sam's turn to let out a bark of laughter, "you and Sue? That's rich." 

"Is it? Maybe if you paid attention to someone besides trying to turn everyone's pockets outward you would see it," Emily replies. 

"You know Sue and I slept together and now you're upset because you think I stole her from you?" Sam asks in an exasperated tone of voice. 

Emily's lips flatten into a straight line, "at first I was, but then I remember no matter who we're with or where we are. Sue and I will always belong to each other." 

"You're delusional," Sam tells her. 

"No," Emily shoots back, "no, I'm not. Sam, this is not the love story you think it is. This isn't some forbidden affair of lust and grandeur between you and Sue. You have no place in this story. You're nothing, you're nobody." 

"Emily, you are insane." 

"Maybe, maybe not," she replies smugly. 

A familiar voice calls out, "Emily!" 

Emily can feel her heart almost jump from her chest. It was Sue. Even after all these years the mere sound of her voice could make Emily's pulse jump and her palms sweaty. 

She hears Sue call out her name again before she answers.

"In the parlor," she yells back as she continues to stare at Sam. 

Sue walks into the parlor. She wears a lovely beige dress with black lace stitched to the bodice. The dress had a wide neck with short sleeves which was also bordered with lace. Emily's eyes trailed to her exposed skin. She could almost feel Sue's stately collarbone under her fingertips. In Sue's hands she carries a shawl that matches her lace of her dress. 

"What's going on?" She asks, confusion is apparent on her face. 

"Emily's imagination is just getting away from her and I'm just setting her straight," Sam says. 

Emily rolls her eyes at his remark. 

"What is that supposed to mean?" Sue asks defensively.

"She's saying that you two are lovers and that you're in love with each other," Sam tells Sue with another bark of pathetic laughter. 

"She's telling the truth," Sue replies. 

Sam's face falls again. For the first time since Emily has met Sam Bowles he is speechless. 

"Everybody loves Emily," Sue said and looked at her, "how could they not?" 

Emily knew she was supposed to be upset with Sue, but she can't help smiling at her love. Sue smiles back, a sight Emily knew very well. Sue's smile could light a whole forest brighter than the biggest bonfire.

"And what if I tell someone? Sister-in-laws caught in an affair would make a sensational headline for the Springfield-Republican," Sam asks bitterly. 

"All of Amherst loves the Dickinson family and you're just a nobody. An outsider who doesn't belong here," Emily argues. 

Sam pauses in thought and his frown deepens.

Sue folds her arms over her chest, "you can say whatever you want, but no one will take your word over the governor's daughter."

"Maybe I could tell your brother about this little dalliance of yours?" Sam threatens. 

Neither woman is phased by these cheap accusations and hold their ground. 

"He knows and he rather it be me then you," Emily replies.

Sue walks slowly toward Sam as a shroud of fury settled on to her face. 

"If you threaten anyone in the Dickinson family again. I will ruin you, Samuel Bowles," Sue told him in a tone of voice Emily had never heard before. 

The woman staring down Sam was not the Sue Emily knew. This Sue was made up of all rage and all mania. The look in her eye was all the confirmation Sam Bowles needed to know that Sue would make good on this promise. While this face of Sue had not been shown to Emily; she loved it as part of Sue nonetheless.

Emily walks to the entrance of the Dickinson's house and takes Sam's hat off the hook in the foyer. 

"I think this is where you take your leave, Mr. Bowles," Emily says in a mocking voice with his hat in hand.

Sam scowls as he retreats from Sue's burning gaze and to entrance hallway that lead to the parlor. He retrieves his briefcase. He all, but snatches his hat from Emily's grasp once he gets in the front door Sam shoved it on his head unceremoniously. 

Sam calls to his coachman, "start the carriage!" 

Emily watches him retreat quickly from the Dickinson's front step and jumps onto the back of the already moving carriage. A realization dawns on Emily. 

She gathers up her skirts while repeating a curse word under her breath and begins to run after the carriage. 

"Wait!" she screams as she attempts to run after the carriage. 

That awful man still had her poems, the poems she had written for Sue. 

"I'm doing you a favor," Sam shouts as Emily fails to catch up with the carriage's gaining speed. 

Emily throws her head back and lets out a groan. 

Emily hears Sue's gentle voice as she stares at the sky, "Emily. What's the matter?"

She turns to look at her and lets out a tired sigh.

"He has my poems, Sue. The ones I wrote for you," Emily complains. 

Sue walks toward Emily with her shawl in hand. She wraps it around Emily's shoulders even though she would more likely need it. 

"Come inside," Sue tells her in a low voice and puts her hand on Emily's back. 

Emily lets herself be led back inside her family's home as hot, angry tears brimmed in her eyes. 

"Who knows what that bastard will do with them now that he knows about us," Emily grumbled to herself. 

After the two women the foyer they close the door behind them.


End file.
